I once had a picture of my heart. It was this room, and the room was really quite lovely. It had a cozy couch, some candles, a few blankets, a lamp, great artwork, and of course....really fabulous coffee (that is a given with me)
This is where my friends came to visit. It was.......perfect.
But there, if you looked behind the couch in the corner, there was a door, it almost blended perfect into the wall, but the handle was just shiny enough that it was noticeable. I wanted it a secret. I didn't go in there, let alone ever ever ever let anyone else in there.
But one day I was asked to go in. With much fear and trembling I reached out for that hand that was safety, and followed thru the door. In that room I found many boxes. Boxes reaching to the ceiling. Automatically, I believed them to be all the 'bad' things I had done or would do, or had been.
I was asked to open just a few of the boxes. Only because I trusted the One, did I dare.
Shaking, I opened one box. Then another.
I was shocked, confused.
Inside the boxes were wrapped gifts.
Under the wrapping were little parts of me, of who I wanted to be, of who I was created to be, that I had hidden away. I thought they were not acceptable, not allowable. We only opened a few. It was all I could handle for the day.
Lovingly I took one out. It was a silly one. It was getting my nosed pierced. It was so refreshing. It felt so important. I had made a mark.
I think often of that, of how I had allowed fear to rob me of me. I hate that!
I have opened many of these boxes. Some were easy, some were hard. But all were freeing and revealing. Wonderful!
Now, there is another one to open. It has been calling to me for a long time. I have taken that box out so many times, it is getting quite worn. Those around me encourage me.
They believe in me.
And I hate the fact that I still allow fear to rob me.
I will think of how these boxes that I feared are actually gifts. And oh, how I love gifts. And really, what is better than a gift that is for sharing. That is like super oopper doopper double fun.
And fun can make even the hardest thinks better.