Friday, January 1, 2010
The same.....yet oh so different
As you know we lived in Shanghai 5 yrs ago. What an incredible thrill ride that was! Crazy, but so fun, and short. 6 months (hubby 7 months).
We are going into our 5th month here. It has flown by. But it has a completely different feeling knowing that last time I was starting to think of returning home, and now, I feel like I have barely begun to settle.
That is a good thing, because we know this time it is longer term. It makes so much sense that our feeling of being settled has really just begun. I know that once we move into our other house that the feeling of being settled will hugely increase. I am desperate for that.
I have been struggling with getting enough homeschooling done. My mind has been busy fighting off feelings of failing. When I look at the logistics of schooling in our room here, I understand why it is more of a 'bare bones' than a full on learning experience, but still. The voices can be so ugly, and laced with truth.
Shanghai was just so easy really. And this time it is harder.
I have been pondering this.
I have been crying out to the One who sent us here. When my mind is so busy, it becomes difficult to hear his voice. But I need to hear his voice so desperately. I need his direction, because left on my own, my way becomes confused quickly.
The kids and I discuss His call for us to come here. We talk about holding onto that. Not because being here is our salvation, but because the Voice that called us, is our only firm footing in this life. Without hearing his voice I am lost. That is a sure thing.
So tonight, I am crying out to him to help find my rest in him and him alone. I know that when I am at rest in Who HE is, than all my other questions are answered.
Too be content in nothing by the sweetness of His love!