I'm sorry

The last item we needed to be able to move into our house was a bed. Of course there are about 5 million places in Hong Kong to buy a bed, but being able to afford the bed was the issue. So we searched and searched the local classifieds for expats. There is always a tonne of stuff for sale on there because of all the people who come here to work for a few years, but then sell things off for cheap when they leave. But, we were having a really hard time finding an appropriate bed for us.
Then, we found one. We were excited. It was only a mattress, but that was fine, we would figure out the frame with time. So we set it all up, Brad left this morning to help p/u the bed.

Then he calls. They found a bed in the school storage for us instead.

That is great!

really, a good thing.

But that meant I had to call the lady who was literally waiting for the delivery truck to p/u the bed.

I had to call and tell her we would not be coming after all!!

I hate hate hate hate hate hate having to make calls like that. I am one of those people who half entertains the idea of sending a text message instead!!! I mean, I wouldn't really, but still I thought of about it for that split second. Or two.

But I didn't. I called and apologized as whole heartedly as I possibly could.

The response was.........well, she hung up on me.

I felt horrible.
Maybe we should just buy the bed anyways, I thought. Well, that is silly. But, for a few moments that seemed so much better than having a complete stranger not like me.

Okay, so we have some people pleasing issues to work thru yet. Oh well.

the most amazing girl I know

Once upon a time a child came into this world. Never before had there been one just like this and never again would there be one exactly the same. The Great Mystery of the Universe created this one special, his very own handy work.

When she was 10 her family moved across the ocean to a crazy strange new land.

She love the new adventure. She saw a beauty in many things that the rest of us would have just passed by. She brought a joy to the journey that would not have been there with out her.

But to go on this journey she had to say good-bye to many loved ones. She had to leave many comforts and familiarities behind. She had to leave everything she had ever known for the unknown.

This was hard.

Very hard.

Most days she smiles, but often under the smile is a sadness of the good-byes and left behinds.

Tonight this dear one cried in my arms. I cried.

Tonight I asked Abba Father to hold her in the deep places where I can not.

Tonight she asked Abby Daddy to heal her heart and bring her joy.

He spoke his words of hope and peace to her in a way I never could have.
He came and held her in the places she didn't know she needed holding. He showed her the truth of in our weakness he is made strong. He painted a picture of his love for her in a way only the artist of all artist could do.

Now I ask for peace and joy for her. I ask for help in trust for me. I choose to lean not on my own understanding, and to hang suspended in him.

x-games

Today is warm out side. It says 28, but with the fog, um I mean cloud cover, um I mean pollution, it doens't feel quite that warm.

We were doing school. It was going okay. Not bad, but we were all having a really really difficult time focusing. It was almost lunch time.

I was struck by the need to go for a run. Sometimes the kids play at the beach while I run, so I suggested that maybe we should all get out a bit, and then we would be able to focus better this afternoon.

Well, suddenly the thought of swimming was brought up and a flurry of activity happened while swimming attire was found, I got my running gear on, and BB's chain was found so he could come down to the beach as well.

All right off we go. The kids quickly and happily set off looking for crabs and snails, BB is glad to be getting some attention, and I head off for my run (after stopping a young couple from snapping numerous pictures of the kids playing in the water).

Oh it was sweet. Everyone was happy, everyone was getting some much needed space and fresh air.

Then, suddenly, I remembered.

I had locked us out of the house.

oh man oh man oh man.

And not this is not the first time.

Okay, we got in before we can do it again. Feshya was showing great faith that we would not problems figuring it out.

Once we get home, I find that the ladder has been locked inside the flat that is being renovated below us on the ground floor. So we pondered and pondered and pondered and pondered.
There simply had to be a way to get in. We had even left two windows wide open. I just didn't know how in the world we would get in. (we are on the second floor).

We figure out that if I could lift Ethan up to crawl over to the neighbors balcony (second floor right beside us), he can crawl over the railing, inch along the railing to our open window, and then crawl in the window.
Simple right. We will just call this the class on strategic critical thinking.......yah and Physical Education for the hoisting and crawling and pulling.

So he does it, no problems. We were all a little freaked out that he would fall down once or twice. (I was standing on a chair and holding his feet the entire time).

Brad has nick named Ethan 'x-games' because he is always trying crazy things and seems to have an elastic body that is almost pliable.

So, after we are all inside, Ethan says how everyone needs to be thank-ful that he is x-games because otherwise we would have been locked out forever.

Thank x-games!!!

a thought on cultural differences

I have been thinking about culture differences (I guess that is a bit of a given lol).
And I have been thinking about moving out of our room (I guess that is a bit obvious as well hehe)

See, when we tell most people here the amount of space we live in, they really are not shocked, or surprised, or give me the sympathy I am desperately looking for. They just nod and say 'Oh yes'. And sometimes give me the look of wondering why I am complaining. Of course I smile politely, but inside I wanna shake them and try to make them understand how it is to homeschool and live in a one room where the bed is our learning quarters, sleeping quarters, eating quarters, relaxing quarters, etc etc.

But then ahhhhhh,
I must stop and think about those cultural differences.

First, homeschooling is completely and totally foreign to them. They don't even have the reference of 'that weird family down the road'. They just don't know anything about it.

So, how can they understand my frustration. They can't. And that is okay.

Yes, most people here live in very small quarters. Even with children and grandparents and a helper in one house. But, the kids are gone for school many hours a day, then they often have tutoring after hours. If they are lucky they live close to a school, but many kids spend a long time traveling to and from school (much like myself as a youngster growing up on the prairies). The evenings you are always seeing the kids running around outside, playing basketball, hanging out. If at home, you mostly see them, doing homework or maybe watching TV. Quiet sit down activities.
So, they don't spend a lot of time in the house.
So how can they understand my slippery slope of insanity of living a life of a homeschooling family here.

Please do not read this as a 'my life is better than theirs and they just don't understand'. That is not were I am going with this at all!!! Just giving you yet another glimpse into the mind of Cristal. Please come again!

a sneek peek if you want to

today was a mix bag. Rainy outside. Wet inside with moisture dripping into pools at the bottom. Clean clothing run to hubby doing a 2 nighter. Picked up more groceries than I could enjoy carrying home. A dog that got loose right in front of the bakery (crisis was averted). Many coughs, sniffly runny noses, soar throats. Wet dog smell. Mosquito bites galore. Attempting to do school. Then the jack-hammering began. And it stayed. All day long. In the suite below us. Kinda gave up at that point. Tried to coast the rest of the way. Did have a successful teaching time. Did watch a movie. Did make a good super. Did have some laughs. Wiped a few tears. Many hugs. And always as many kisses as my kids will allow me to shower on them in the midst of our grumpiness.

Synopsis : Cristal and the children are becoming ever more desperate to get out of our one room and into the house!

Does he come with the shoes?

Ethan was in need of some new shoes. I won't use this space to complain about the recently bought crocs that he managed to quickly wear out......oh oops, guess I just did.
Anyways,
Went to a local shoe store to try some on. The store was very neat and clean. That wasn't my deciding factor for going in, but I was impressed once we were inside. Ethan picked out the 'coolest' shoes he could see and the lady went to the back to find his size. Barefoot he tried them on, took the necessary lap around the store to make sure they fit well.

As he sat down to take them off I did one last look around to see if any were one sale.
When I turned back to Ethan I noticed a large cockroach running across the floor. Disgusted but not surprised, I watched it crawl into some corner.

As I tell the sales lady we will take the shoes, Ethan ever so casually says to me

'Um mom, I think a cockroach just crawled out of the runner when I took them off'

Okay, what do you say to that. EWWWWWWW! That is disgusting. I would have screamed had I just watched a large ucky icky gross thing crawl out of a shoe that I just had on my foot, and barefoot non the less (Ethan did not have any socks on when he tried on the runners).

But, he was kinda okay with it, so I had to go with the flow.
"Oh yes honey, I noticed the little guy crawl into the corner. That is kinda weird hey" was my official casual sounding response tho.

But come on', that is DISGUSTING!!!! I hate those creepy crawlers.

We have had almost no cockroaches in our place, and I am fully aware of that being God's grace to me. I know there is NO WAY I could have handled my kids sleeping on the floor these 5 going on 6 months if there were cockroaches in the house. Not that they don't climb up all surfaces. I know, but the floor is still a vulnerable place.

ICK ICK ICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do Over

That is what I wish I could call today.

A Do Over.

As a mom, as a homeschooling mom, I was pretty much a flop today. Some day's we don't do a lot with official homeschooling and that is okay. Today, it wasn't okay.

We had to go and get laundry and some groceries and desperately needed to clean the house. Morning gone. Okay fine, we will start after lunch. But then......well, one thing lead to another, then I needed to kick the kids out of our room to spin off some energy, then it was supper, and blah blah blah.

Now here is the 'lets keep it real' description.
I let the craziness of living in our room get to me today. I let my sadness of not having family and friends close get to me. And in letting those things get to me I mean closed into myself and justified it by saying 'I really needed some space from everyone including my kids'.
Result, the day ended with more yelling and frustration than love and kindness. Instead of hugs at the end of a day, the hugs could only come after mommy confessed my failings to my children, wiped away a few tears. As I said to them how I let me frustration and sadness rule my day and my attitudes, Sammy says "I know exactly how you feel mom", and I knew he did. Then came the hugs of reconciliation.

That is one sweet hug. And I am overwhelming thank full for it. Wish there wasn't a reason for it, but oh my goodness gracious, I am so thank full for it!