Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Oh, how fickle the mind

On the weekend we got some great news from our contact in Hong Kong. We were told to anticipate being in HK by mid August. Words can't tell how wonderful that was to hear. Like a yummy piece of fruit on a hot day, juicy to quench the dryness, yet oh so tasty and sweet.
With this also comes the reality. Yesterday I began to think of the good-byes, and the adjustments that will have to happen etc etc. So strange to feel so excited and yet..........I can't think of the word. I know the many emotions and changes that are coming.
Yesterday there was an ugly voice that started off very quiet. So quiet that I didn't realize I was hearing it, let alone listening. Then half way through the day I yelled at one of my children over something very small, and realized my heart was not all right. Then that ugly small voice got loud. Yet, as it usually goes, I still didn't realize yet that I was listening to it. I began to fear that I wasn't enough. I didn't have what it took to walk this all out, I wouldn't be enough to be a good parent, let alone a homeschooling parent, I would never be able to learn the language, me and the children wouldn't make new friends, and on and on and on. YUCK. In the evening my dear hubby asked how I was doing. As I began to tell him what was on my mind, it was only then that I realized the voice that I was listening to. I saw it for its ugliness. He helped me remember and see the truth. What a blessing to walk this road side by side with him.
I have been thinking about this voice today, and I may be wrong but I think a lot of people hear this voice. Is it wrong, is it truth? That is what we need to decided, that is what I need to decide. Of course it is easy to say it is false, but why, how. Today I will spend my time going to the Truth who tells me the truth. That is what I do know. I will remember all the roads we have walked along together, remembering. I am so thankful for my heavenly Father. Today I will listen for his voice. For his is the one I am willing to bet my life on. On him I will throw my dreams and hopes. Today I will remember that I am a daughter of the King.

I have been reading this amazing book called Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts. This book has already been a huge inspiration for my painting and creativity, but it is also rather timely for us leaving as well.

To sum it all up, it is about letting go and enjoying the journey. Not only enjoying the journey, but embracing the journey.
I will leave you with one quote from the book.

"What in your life is calling you? When all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned, the lists laid aside.....what still pulls on your soul?"
Terma Collective


  1. Crissie, thanks for sharing the quote at the end of your blog post. That was for me today, as I embark upon a new journey that will take me way out of my comfort zone, but . . . it's something that still pulls my soul! Our prayers are with all of you as you prepare for this wonderful new life!

  2. Oh, I know that voice. I call it FEAR. Fight it, sister. :-) He is a liar.